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What I Learned About Kindness At Work From The Best Flight Attendant Ever

This article is more than 4 years old.

This article is part of a series I’ll do leading up to Thanksgiving and during the holidays about the benefits of infusing kindness, gratitude, and presence into your work experience. Follow along.

According to LinkedIn, many of the most common challenges that Americans struggle with have to do with the people they are working with rather than on the functions they are performing in the course of completing their job: Dealing with co-workers, workplace politics, dealing with managers, and a lack of a supportive team all make the top ten list of common challenges.

That’s not to say there are no struggles when it pertains to the work itself - finding work-life balance, managing workload and answering all the emails make the top ten list as well. But how much easier would those things be if the people at work were just a little bit kinder?

In honor of World Kindness Day, let’s focus our attention on how we could make the office a kinder place to spend some time.

A reminder from a very kind flight attendant.

Meet Eric. Eric is the best flight attendant ever. He was working a recent flight I was on from Los Angeles to Detroit, and offered a tangible reminder about the importance of simple kindness and consideration.

On this particular trip, there was a passenger kerfuffle involving a very large service dog sitting in the row directly behind me that resulted in several passengers shouting at Eric and the other flight attendants. During the whole encounter, he remained so diplomatic, patient and kind, really trying to do his best to take care of the passengers and offer them what he could within the bounds of the procedures he had to follow. But nothing was good enough, the passengers just kept complaining and the flight ended up being delayed while the airline staff tried to figure it out. After almost an hour of the passengers unleashing their anger and frustration on him and him just accepting it while continuing to try to diffuse the situation, I turned around and defended Eric by saying he was being really nice and was doing the best he could. A few moments later, the situation finally calmed down and we were able to take off. Eric sat down and started making small talk with the passengers sitting around him, and I put on my headphones to relax.

Since I was going to be on a flight all day, and the delay effectively eliminated my chances to get real food on my layover, I ordered food on the plane as soon as service started. Sadly, my food never made it’s way to my seat and by the time the other flight attendants realized it, what I ordered was sold out. To say I was annoyed would be an understatement. But then Eric came over and said, “We have staff meals on this flight and I’m not going to eat mine. I want you to have it as a thank you for defending me.” As much as I can cite statistics and studies about kindness, respect, mindfulness and gratitude, experiencing it in real life is different. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t tear up a bit at his kind and generous office. That ended up being the only meal I ate all day, and I was very grateful for it.

How can you make someone’s day?

Eric’s simple act of kindness to me wasn’t something he was obligated to do, nor was it was expected. It was a genuine gesture that went above and beyond the call of duty.

The same is true of any act of kindness at work. No one you work with is obligated to champion your ideas, do you favors, give you compliments, mentor you, or even say please or thank you. And because of the old notion that “nice guys finish last,” many people avoid engaging in these acts because they are afraid of being taken advantage of. However, acts of simple kindness have been shown to create ripple effects in organizations, eventually impacting the whole culture as it propagates and spreads.

But kindness isn’t just about people feeling warm and fuzzy. It also has a very real business impact. Kindness improves creativity and innovation, increases motivation, cultivates better working relationships, reduces employee turnover, and boosts overall wellness.

If you want to work in a place that embraces kindness as a core cultural element, then you must live that value by being a model of it. The world is a perfect place. It’s not perfect in that we get everything we want the minute we want it, but it is perfect in that we get exactly what we should expect to get based on our contributions to any given situation.

American politician Bob Kerrey once said, “unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.” Here are four easy ways to contribute kindness to your work experience:

  • Hand out genuine compliments and words of appreciation like they are going out of style. Recognize the good work that your colleagues are doing, even if they aren’t your favorite person in the world. Do it in person (rather than through email or through technology) to get the maximum benefit. Keep a “to thank” list alongside your “to do” list to keep it top of mind.
  • Offer to help a co-worker that you perceive to be struggling without waiting to be asked to do so, even if it’s outside of your job description to do so. According to researcher Michelle Gielan, those who invest in the success of others are 65% more likely to receive a promotion, and five times less likely to experience burnout.
  • Take a colleague out to lunch. Not only would this give you a break from the daily grind, but it will also give you the opportunity to get to know them on a human level. These social connections matter, and will help both of you to have a better experience once you get back to the office.
  • Listen deeply to what your colleagues have to say. Don’t multi-task by typing away on your laptop while they’re talking. Take the time to look them in the eye, listen, put yourself in their shoes and understand their point of view. This is particularly true if you manage people. According to Harvard Business Review, about half of employees don’t feel respected by their boss.

If none of these ideas are your particular cup of tea, that’s ok. There are many other things you can do to express kindness in your work experience. Pick one or two and get to work. Any bit of extra kindness is better than nothing.

Being kind benefits you too.

Every gift you give to others is also a gift you give to yourself. Researchers at University of California, Berkeley have found that those who are generous with their kindness experience greater amounts of kindness in return. So, it could be said that being kind to others is an inherently selfish act. I’m of the mind that a little bit of selfishness is ok when it leads to the greater benefit of the whole and that people who do good things should reap the benefits of those acts.

Ultimately, only you can make the choice of what you want to give your colleagues, kindness or otherwise. No matter your role, your level, your experience, or who you report to, you can be a part of creating a better experience at your organization. How, or if, you empower yourself to do that is up to you.

What random acts of kindness have you been the beneficiary of at work? Tweet at me at @DrKarlynB to share your experience!

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