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We have all taken various personality tests over time. As an executive coach of hundreds of leaders over the years, one tool that I have used in a diagnostic way to help individuals better understand their own styles and those of their teammates has been the MBTI or Myers Briggs Type Indicator. The reason I like this tool, among many other assessments, is that it seems to explain many of the stressors that people have when interacting with others at home or work. For example, the “J” or judging vs. the “P” or perceiving preference refers to how individuals like to deal with the outside world. In simple terms, Js prefer a more structured or organized approach to life and experience the “joy of closure” where they are able to complete tasks ahead of time. They experience a sense of accomplishment when they can check those tasks off of their list. Ps, on the other hand, prefer a more flexible, spontaneous approach to life and experience the “joy of processing” when they can be adaptable and consider numerous ideas regarding a task. They enjoy being open to ideas even at the last minute and do not feel a strong need to push for closure ahead of schedule.
Imagine then the inherent conflict between Js and Ps at work or at home. A “J” person may be pushing to get everything scheduled for the week ahead while the “P” person may not need or want a schedule at all, and instead be open to what a new week brings. At work, these differing styles may be aggravating to team members. So, a person’s need to organize and plan in advance may be aggravating to a person who is not driven to organize or plan in advance. And vice versa- a person’s adaptable style can be frustrating to a person who wants everything scheduled in advance.
What can also be challenging is that not all Js or Ps are the same in terms of their need for structure or openness. For example, some Js have really strong preferences for closing on tasks in advance, while other Js may have only slight preferences for structure and appear more flexible and almost seem like Ps to the very strong Js. Likewise, with Ps -not all are the same. I’ll never forget the time that a person with a P preference told me he could not work with his team of all Ps because they just were not organized enough for him. The Js that he previously worked with thought that was hysterical.
So, if you are a strong J and your need for closure is really strong you could be stressing out your more adaptable Js or your Ps on the team. Similarly, if you are a strong P and have a carefree approach to getting things done, you could be frustrating your fellow teammates who are Js or those Ps who are a little more structured.
So, what should colleagues at work do to minimize being stressed by others’ different approaches?
· First, understand your own style and preferences by completing an assessment on yourself. You can’t figure out what to do if you aren’t aware of your own style.
· Realize that while you are following your own style or preference, you may be driving your colleagues’ crazy. Learn what their styles are and whether your style is causing them stress. Getting feedback from them about styles is often very helpful.
· Realize if you are a “J” that not everything is urgent or critical. Sometimes, strong Js can bring panic to a work environment by thinking that everything has to be handled right away. Or, their need to get everything scheduled far in advance does not allow for last minute changes, which sometimes can be beneficial. They think their organizational skills will be appreciated, and yet they may not be if they close out on things too quickly and don’t allow for flexibility. In fact, they are often called “Information Minimizers” because when closing out quickly, they only take the most basic information needed and may miss out on other valuable data that comes in later. If this is you, then you may need to get feedback from others on what to do differently in the future.
· Realize that if you are a “P,” you don’t have to continue collecting information well past a deadline in an effort to make the best possible decision. Being flexible and adaptable is really valued, but not if you miss the deadlines or stress out others by changing your mind at the last minute and after the decisions have already been made by the team.
· Examine the work styles of everyone on your team. Having a team session to showcase similarities and differences can enable members to understand why they are or are not getting along and stressing each other out.
There are so many ways in which team members are similar and different from each other. What’s most important is taking the time to understand yourself and others on your team and figuring out how each of us might be driving those around us crazy, and changing our own behaviors to make our work a little easier for all of us.
